i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
