Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
