Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Let's paint friendship bongs
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
