PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
