I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
