Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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