Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
