I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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