a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
