There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
