scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
