He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
