Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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