Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
