I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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