Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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