I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she looked like the before picture.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
