im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
