So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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