worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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