Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
