I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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