@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I AM VODKA MAN
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
