he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
