Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
