It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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