If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dick very happy bro
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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