Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
