She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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