I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
