i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Found your dick twin last night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
