I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
