I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
