yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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