Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
