just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
