Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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