Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
