Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
