dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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