the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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