It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
