ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
