Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
