Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
