i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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