He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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