have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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