their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think my moral compass just broke
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