I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
