I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
