So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
