I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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