Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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