I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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