it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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