Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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